I’ve never been good about keeping a journal, so I don’t know why I thought a blog would be any different. I’ve been completely absent for over 7 months. The reason being that I was almost ready to just throw in the towel. I’ve been battling distractions. Mostly I thought to myself this blog doesn’t really matter that much. It’s only for me anyways. I’m not even sure if many people read this, or care that much for that matter. So I’ve truly thrown in the towel. It was until just these past few days that I’ve been REALLY missing this blog. It’s truly the one place where I can go and just start typing what comes to my mind. I don’t really have to put much thought into it, because I’m sorting and organizing my thoughts every single day of my life!!
Yesterday was my birthday and I started thinking about getting older and the purpose for my life. What have I accomplished so far, how many blessing have I received and how many have I missed out on the opportunity of having because I’ve been too distracted? Over these past 7 months I haven’t stopped growing. I haven’t stopped immersing myself in the word. I haven’t stopped dreaming. The one thing I have stopped, is sharing it with others through this blog. I’ve come to find that even though I may not have many people who are on this journey with me now, but there may be people in the future who will find this blog and maybe just maybe they will find some hope. So I’ve decided I’m not THROWING IN THE TOWEL!!!! I’m not giving up. I will not let distractions dictate what I will do with my life. God is in control and I need to only look to Him.
My husband gave me the best birthday gift yesterday. He let me go shopping, BY MYSELF!!! I was given free reign and a budget of $100!!! I could go anywhere and buy anything I wanted…without kids!!! Can I just tell you how amazing it feels to be able to process complete thoughts. How wonderful it is to just roam around stores and just be. The comparison is perfect in how my walk with God feels when I eliminate distractions. Kid’s are the epitome of distractions right? They want what they want the instant the thought pops into their heads. They have no organization or filter as to what things come out of their mouth. They want instant gratification and they expect us to take care of their needs right this instant or else a major meltdown is on the way!! Don’t we treat God like that sometimes? As long as things are going our way, the relationship is great, but the second we don’t get what we want we are ready to either throw in the towel (find our own way to get what we want), or we flat out throw a GROWN up tantrum. It’s funny that often time as parents we think we are so much more mature than children!! That just isn’t true!! Our tantrums just look a little different and sometimes a little less ridiculous.
Anyways, what I’ve been learning these past several months is that when the going get’s tough and the distractions seem endless I need to stop what I’m doing and look to God. I need to filter all of my thoughts and decisions through him and ultimately let him guide my life. Young children are also the epitome of faith. They believe in things with utter abandon. They don’t quite understand self-doubt, or self-consciousness. They don’t let fear stop them from doing things! This is how I want to live. I need to do things that might feel uncomfortable. I need to get out of my own way and stop being fearful. God will work in mysterious and sometimes very obvious ways to get his point across to you. Like this morning for instance…I’ve been struggling with self-doubt lately and check out what just ‘mysteriously’ popped up in my inbox this morning from Rick Warren!!
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)
What keeps you from developing your full potential? Fear. What keeps you from becoming all God wants you to be? Fear. What keeps you from building a legacy that will last into eternity? Fear.
There are three kinds of fear that will keep you from developing your talents and accomplishing your purpose.
- Self-doubt. It keeps people locked in a prison and unable to develop their potential. This is actually the fear of failure. But failure is not fatal! In fact, the fear of failure is far worse than failure itself. Failure is actually a good thing. Failure is how you learn what doesn’t work. And it’s how you grow into a better parent, partner, and professional. Don’t let self-doubt keep you down. I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than attempt to do nothing and succeed.
- Self-consciousness. If you worry about what other people think, nothing will ever get done in your life. You just have to do what God tells you to do. That’s all you’re accountable for. You’re not called to be the best in the world. You’re called to be the best that God made you to be.
- Self-pity. There were two disciples that had spectacular failures. Peter and Judas both denied Jesus in clutch time, but they responded to their failure in very different ways. Judas went out and had a pity party and hung himself. Peter, on the other hand, wept bitterly, grieved about it, repented, asked God to forgive him, picked himself up, and went back to serving God. And 40 days later, Peter spoke to the whole city of Jerusalem on Pentecost, and 3,000 people became believers and the Church was born. Of all the people God could have used to start the church, he used the guy with the biggest failure. That means there’s room for you in the family of God!
Instead of living in fear, believe what God says about you in Ephesians 2:10: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do”
Umm…really?? Seriously? It was like Rick Warren wrote those words exactly for me!! Everything that I’ve feared. Everything that I worry about. Everything that keeps me from unleashing my greatness!! “Of all the people God could have used to start the church, he used the guy with the biggest failure. That means there’s room for you in the family of God!”
I love how God continuously uses people who are inadequate. He uses people who have messed up. He uses people when no one else thinks they are worthy. He uses people who are just like us! If we live life trying to measure up to the worlds view of success we will fall flat on our face repeatedly. We will always be wanting more. We will always have a heart of discontentment, because the worlds view is tainted. It’s not reality. It’s distorted. It’s the highlight reel mentality. It’s the version of people that they WANT us to see. If we saw reels of everyone’s real life, including the good and the bad, it wouldn’t quite match up to the perceived greatness of the world. Remember these words, people typically only share what they want us to know, or show us what they want us to see, and then for whatever twisted reason, we fall into the trap believing that their whole life looks exactly like that!!!!
I’m here to tell you, it’s not reality!! There is so much more to this world than just striving to live up to the greatness of this world!!! God wants us to strive to live up to the greatness that He will give us!! We are all destined to greatness. We all have something incredible to share with this world. We all have important things to say and people to minister to. The decision is ours. Are we going to head down a path of failure trying to live up to the expectations of this world that we will never meet, or are we going to trust the Creator who made us. The only one who can give us purpose in this life?
I’m on God’s side. He’s already defeated this world! I want what He wants. I will go where He leads and I will put my trust in Him along, even when it scares me!! Which side are you on? Maybe you don’t understand the unconditional love that Jesus has for all of us!! I think this video is absolutely amazing it explains who Jesus is and what salvation means. You can check it out here!!